Why Papa Speaks Spanish With Oliver

People often ask me this question. “Why don’t you speak German with Oliver?” And to be honest, it’s not an easy one to answer. But I’ll try.

Back in Germany, our home was surrounded by German everywhere – or to be more precise, Swabian German. Family gatherings, meeting friends, kindergarten – it was all German. With the twins, we managed to raise them bilingual because at home we were very strict: only Spanish. If we had spoken only German at home as well, it never would have worked.

There’s no perfect formula for this. Some people say each parent should speak only their native tongue with the kids. But in our case, German was already all around us, and I myself was curious about Spanish. I wanted it to be part of my life, maybe even open doors for me professionally one day. So we built our home life around Spanish. We didn’t know back then that this choice would prepare us for what was still to come.

Habits are hard to break. Laura and I met in Manchester. She had just finished her bachelor’s degree and was traveling through Europe to improve her English. I was there for a three-month project with my company, and I thought, why not join a language school while I was there? We ended up in the same classroom, and through Laura, I really learned English.

Our whole relationship, and later the early years of our family, grew out of that shared language. Buying a house, doctor visits, births – everything we went through together, we went through in English. Even today, English is the language where we share the biggest part of our vocabulary. Her German is excellent, almost perfect. But habit always wins. When we talk about serious things, we do it in English. We often call it our “secret language.” Looking back now, even that was a kind of preparation. Without it, Chicago would never have been possible.

With Oliver, I usually speak Spanish. Partly because it has become natural for me, partly because I feel it gives him the most right now. At just over two years old, he deserves to feel safe and comfortable in the language that surrounds him here. Will he grow up bilingual like his brothers? Maybe yes, maybe no. If everything in life were healthy and stable, we could aim for that. But at the moment, health is the only goal. Everything else is secondary.

Oliver also uses German words. For example, instead of saying pelota, he sometimes says ball.

None of us were prepared to leave our home from one day to the next, to suddenly emigrate. I always thought Spanish would be something I needed only to a certain level. But after the accident, during those first weeks in the hospital, I was on my own. Laura was also badly hurt. And that’s when I realized how crucial language really is. When doctors explain your child’s condition to you, when you have to make decisions about your wife’s surgery – every single word matters.

So now I take this as a chance to push myself further. We are here in Mexico, and most people don’t speak English. Integration begins with language. When you understand the language, you start to understand the culture, the rules, even the way people think. Learning a language also means learning the history of a place.

Of course, I still speak German with the twins. When we’re alone, when we go to the playground, or when we race each other in Mario Kart on the Nintendo. I want them to hold on to it. Yes, they’re missing some words they would have picked up in everyday life back in Germany. But the rhythm of the language is already in them, and that means they’ll be able to catch up later.

Here in December 2024 we sang Christmas carols in German. Traditions are part of life, depending on where you happen to be living.

In Chicago, they quickly realized that German and Spanish alone weren’t enough. On the playground, they wanted to play with another child, and I had to step in as the translator. Now here in Mexico, they go to kindergarten and have two hours of English lessons every day. They are highly motivated, because they know we’ll return to Chicago in the spring of 2026. And they already have one sentence memorized that they want to say there: “Please help Oliver, Dr. Bydon!”

We know how important languages are. And we share our life as it is. That’s the real reason why, as Oliver’s dad, I mostly speak Spanish with him in the videos.